Happy Hump day. It’s a beautiful sunny day here in New Jersey and Natalie and I are headed out the door to spend the afternoon at the lake with the boys. But before I go I wanted to share something that may help you in your love life.
There was a time in my life where I was very unhappy in my relationship. And to be honest it was a part of me that was unhappy with myself.
And because I was unhappy with myself I stayed in a relationship that I never should have even started.
You see there was a part of me that was afraid that I would never find the love I was really looking for and there was a part of me that thought I had to be someone else and and do things a certain way in order to make someone stay with me and love me.
I was afraid of being myself because I was afraid that I would never be loved for who I was. And behind that fear was the fear that I would never get to experience the love I really wanted.
Unfortunately, it took the end of that relationship, just 30 days before we were to walk down the aisle, to make me realize what I had been doing wrong.
After that relationship ended I decided to take some time off. I decided to take some Mirror Time to see what it happened.
And what I learned was amazing… and shocking.
After taking a good look at myself and my relationship history I realized that I had a history of jumping into relationships too soon and staying in relationships too long.
And after exploring that I learned that there was a part of me that felt I wasn’t good enough as I was.
And I gotta a tell you I was shocked. Because up until that point I thought I had it all together. I was confident (or so I thought) and I thought I was portraying a picture of someone who had their stuff together.
But the truth is it was a facade. And worst of all this facade was preventing me from being the person I needed to be to create the relationship I really wanted.
So after the mirror time I decided to make some changes. I decided to make choices and decisions which were in alignment with the type of relationship I really wanted. And I decided that if a person couldn’t love and accept me for who I was then they were simply the wrong person for me.
All of a sudden, I started seeing different results in my love life. I no longer jumped into relationships. I no longer stayed in relationships weren’t serving me.
And what was really cool was that within a few months of making the small changes I was able to find and attract the person who gave me the love I was really looking for.
Well, I’ll let you decide for yourself. But I can tell you this. I find it quite ironic that for 15 years I struggled and went from one dead-end relationship to another and then within a few months of making some changes I was able to find the love of my life.
I’ve come to learn in my journey that there is no God/Universe which favors some and denies others.
And in fact, I’ve come to learn that God/Universe is always working for you and guiding you.
All of the crap that has happened (or is happening) is the Universe’s way of trying to get your attention so that you can make the changes you need to make to create the result you really want.
But the question is are you listening and are you making those changes?
I believe part of the reason most of us struggle is because we believe we are not good enough.
And I believe a lot of the blame goes to society, especially the advertisement industry.
We are constantly bombarded with images and products telling us how to get prettier, younger,sexier and more fit.
And the underlying message behind all of this is you’re not good enough as you are.
And these campaigns are brilliantly designed to make you feel like crap so that you’ll spend your money to buy their stuff.
Unfortunately, this takes a toll on your psyche and causes you to unconsciously buy into the story that you’re not good enough.
But I’m here to tell you you are good enough. You are perfect as you are. You don’t need to change or be someone or something to find love.
The only thing you need to do is to show up and be the best you that you can be.
And that is where the struggle lies. Because it sounds so simple but you’re fighting against years of unconscious programming…including your parents.
So today I invite you to take some Mirror Time. I invite you to take a good look at your life and see where you have made (or are making) choices and decisions which are working against you.
And I invite you to see what changes you need to make to start doing things differently.
And after you take that mirror time, I invite you to share your observations questions or comments below on today’s blog
The GPS for love community is a safe place to receive the support and guidance you need to navigate the complex world of men dating and relationships.
If you’re struggling and having a hard time trying to figure out why you’re not creating the results you want in your love life I invite you to check out the GPS for Love Mentoring Program. I created it specifically to help you speed up your learning curve so that you don’t have to continue to learn the hard way…like I did.