Have a Hard Time Opening Up and Being Vulnerable?

Today I want to share  something that I went thru recently. And I gotta admit that it’s hard to open up and post this for the world to see, but I figure if it helps just one person in their journey to find love then it’ll be wellvulnerability worth it.

You see, I grew up in a very loving household. I had two wonderful parents and there was never a question of whether my parents loved me or not.

Both of my parents were second generation Italians who had parents who were born in Italy. And like their parents they learned to express love not by their words but by their actions.

We were a very loving family, the problem was we never verbally expressed it
In fact, anytime I tried to express love verbally as a child to my dad he used to say, “you show me love by your actions.”

And even though I had an amazing mother who would sacrifice and do anything to make my life easier and better, she never uttered the words, “I LOVE YOU!”

So needless to say, saying those same three words is something that doesn’t come naturally for me. And it’s one of the things I really admire about Natalie, expressing her love is something she does so easy and naturally

Now since I’m a seeker and I’m always trying to make my life (and relationships) better this is something that I had to confront and face. And let me tell you it’s a lot more difficult than it would appear to be.

Why?

Because it is so much easier for me to show my love by my actions than it is to say those three words.

After doing a lot of Mirror Time and working with one of my mentors I ultimately realized that the reason it was difficult for me to say the words “I love you” is because it leaves me completely vulnerable and open for rejection.

And that scares the crap out of me.

So after I realized the cause of my struggles I decided to take my mom out to lunch. And we had a conversation that scared the hell out of me. I decided that I wanted to understand why she never said the words “I LOVE YOU”.

I went not this lunch not to blame my mother or make her wrong but to understand her. Because, like I said earlier, there has never been a doubt in my mind as to whether my mother loved me or not.

At first we started with small talk and I could feel the anxiousness build up inside me as I brought up the subject. Part of me wanted to get in my car and get the hell out of there. But I knew that if I did, I would continue to carry around the burden of these unanswered questions.

So finally, I asked her, “Mom, I’m just curious, I have never doubted how much you love Jo-Ann (my sister) and I but why is it that you have a hard time verbally expressing your love?”

And at first she was shocked, caught completely off guard as if I was asking her to explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. But after a few minutes of me explaining what I was talking about, the conversation took a complete turn
And for the next 30 mins we had a beautiful conversation, one in which brought tears to both of our eyes.
{NOTE*** if you plan on having a vulnerable conversation with someone I recommend you do it in privacy, otherwise you’ll get people looking at you like we did!)

For the first time in 49 years I saw a side of my mother that I didn’t know existed. For years my mother was the strong one in our house. She was the glue that held it all together. Even when My dad was alive my mom was the risk taker and the go-getter.

In fact, she always used to say, “If it was up to your father we would have never moved out of the Bronx and we’d still be living in an apartment in a shitty neighborhood.”

You see my mom helped me to understand that her childhood wasn’t as happy as I thought it was. That the loving grandfather that I knew was so strict that she would have to sneak around and go behind his back so that she could be like all the other kids in the neighborhood.

And for the next hour my mother opened up in ways that made me see her not as my mom, but simply as another human being who had her own share of stories which shaped and impacted her life.

And when I left the restaurant that day, I gave her a hug and a kiss like I normally do & I said the three words…I LOVE YOU! And I could immediately feel her body tense up as she replied back, almost in a knee jerk response, “YOU TOO”.

And I wasn’t disappointed and hurt because I now understood that the reason my mom never expressed her love verbally was because saying it made her vulnerable too.

Opening up and being vulnerable is one of the hardest things for a human being to do. and no matter how strong a person may pretend to be, most people struggle with being vulnerable, because deep down most of us have experienced rejection and we’re afraid of facing that pain…again.

I had a couple of conversations with my mom after that lunch and then one day, as we were getting off the phone, my mother uttered those three words, the three words that teh lil boy in me had been longing to hear for almost 49 years.

Even though my brain had known how much my mother loved me and how she consistently proved it with her actions, Hearing her utter the three simple words…I LOVE YOU brought me peace to my heart because instead knowing in my head I was able to know it in my heart.

So, why am I sharing this with you?

Because if you’re like me, and most other human beings who are walking the planet you have a hard time opening up and being vulnerable, because ultimately you’re afraid of rejection and you’re afraid you won’t be loved.

So instead of opening up and being vulnerable. You stay quiet, you shut down and you suppress your thoughts and feelings.
I share this with you to inspire you. To help you see that no matter how difficult it may be, no matter how uncomfortable you may feel if you find the courage to speak your truth from your heart you will create the space for the other person to open up and express their vulnerability too.

Now before you start running around and sharing your heart with complete strangers please understand that is not what I am saying. Being vulnerable is a scary thing and opening up to the wrong person might actually work against you.

What I am suggesting is that you open up and share your heart with someone who who you can trust. Someone who has already earned the right for you to share your heart with them. Because when you share your heart with someone who has already earned your trust you ave a much greater chance of creating an amazing experience, one which will improve your relationship, just like it did for me and my mom.

Do you have a hard time opening up and being vulnerable? If so, Why? What step could you take in the next 24 hours to open up and be a ‘lil more vulnerable than you were today. Go below in the comments section and share your thoughts and experience on vulnerability

And if you have any questions, feedback or stories that you would like to make sure to post  them also.

Have a great day!

Much Love,
Joe

 

How To Know You’re Settling

Have you been involved with a guy where you wondered if he was really the one or if you were settling? If so, you are going to love this video.

There is a way to know if you are settling and it’s called THE BIG SIX.

The Big Six are six clues which let you know that the guy you are with is not the guy you really want…and deserve.

If you would like to learn how to recognize THE BIG SIX so you can know it’s in your best interest to move on this video is for you!

Watch Here…

After you watch today’s vblog I invite you to go to the comments section below and share how settling has affected you in your love life and how THE BIG SIX will help you in finding a guy who gives you the type of love you really want…and deserve!
Hope this helps!

Have a great day!

Much Love,

Joe

The Man Myth – Why a Guy Can’t Make You Happy

Do you believe that everything in your life would be so much better if you just had a guy to share your life with?

Well, you’re right…and you’re wrong! A guy can’t make you happy, but he can make you happier.

In this video you will learn about The Man Myth, and why your pursuit of love may be working against you.

If you have a habit of giving your heart to guys who ultimately break it, this video is for you!

Watch Here…

What’s your thoughts? Do you believe a guy can make you happy? Were there times in the past where you felt that a guy’s love and approval would be the answer to your prayers.

If so, please share your thoughts below in the comments section.
Have a great day!

Much Love,

Joe

How Many Chances Should a Guy Get?

Have you ever dated a guy who did something which really rubbed you the wrong way? And because he did some other things that you really liked you were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and overlook things.

But then a few weeks, months or years later you realized that you could no longer things and you ended the relationship.

If the above scenario resonates with you I highly recommend you watch this vblog because you will learn how implementing the ONE STRIKE RULE will save you from investing in the wrong guy and the wrong relationship.

Watch Here…

Do you have a habit of giving guys too many chances? If so, why? Take some Mirror Time and head on over to today’s vblog and share your thoughts and experience. We’d love to hear from you

Have a great weekend!

Much Love,

Joe

 

How To Talk To a Guy Without Making Him Wrong

Did you ever try to talk to a guy to make things better but only winded up making it worse?

There’s an old expression that says…It’s not what you say, but how you say it!

Good communication is the foundation of a healthy and successful relationship and without a relationship is doomed.

In this video you will learn a simple strategy which will immediately improve your communication skills so that you can get a MAN to open up and be receptive to what you are saying.

 

Watch Here…

Take some Mirror Time after watching today’s video to look at your love life and observe if how well you have been communicating and how this strategy will help you going forward.

And then go below in the comments section and share your observations, questions and feedback.

Have a Great day!

Much Love,

Joe

7 Dangerous Words That Predict a Relationship is Doomed

Did you ever wish you had a way of recognizing a guy was going to break your heart before he actually did? Did you ever wonder if there was a way you could recognize the red flags which indicated a guy wasn’t emotionally available to be the life partner you were hoping for?

If so, pay close attention. In this video you will learn the seven dangerous words which let you know you are in a relationship that is probably going to fail.

Watch Here…

Have you ever been in a relationship with a guy who often uses these words? If you would have known how dangerous these words are what would you have done differently?

Go below and share your comments, questions and feedback.

We want to hear from you!

Much Love,

Joe

The Soulmate Myth – Why I Believe Soulmates Don’t Exist

There is a myth out there that there is a soulmate for everyone and you can’t have a happy and fulfilling long term relationship or marriage until you find “The One”, the person who you can call your soulmate.

I think it’s all a bunch of B.S. and in today’s video I not only explain why but I give you proof that your “soulmate” doesn’t exist.

If you’ve been searching for your soulmate and you’ve been having a hard time finding the love you’ve been looking for you MUST watch this video.

Watch Here…

Enjoy!

After watching today’s; vblog make sure you take a min or two to post your comments, questions and feedback. I want to know how GPSforLove.com can best support you.

 

Have a great day!

Much Love,

Joe

Do You Believe in Soulmates?

Today I wanted to discuss something that I hear about all the time from the members of our GPS for Love Community.

And it’s something that I think needs to be soulmate-1discussed because there is a ton of confusion around it.

I was having a conversation with a women the other day who was struggling with this very thing and the confusion she was experiencing was actually contributing to her struggles.

So what was causing this women to struggle? The word “SOULMATE.’.. You see, to me “soulmate” is a lot like the word love. It’s a wonderful concept but there’s confusion and a lack of clarity around what it really is. And this confusion and lack of clarity often makes your love life much harder than it needs to be.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in soulmates. In fact, I think in some crazy way we’re all soulmates who have come here to experience this thing called life as human beings.

Now before I give you my thoughts on what a soulmate is (and isn’t) I want to hear from you.

Do you believe in soulmates? If so,what is your definition. How will you know if you have found your soulmate?

I’m going to share my views on soulmates in he next vblog. The reason I’m doing that is I because I don’t want to influence your opinion.

So go below and share your thoughts, comments and questions on soulmates. We’d love to hear what you think.

Have a great day!

Much Love,
Joe

 

Conscious Coupling – You Can Help Who You Fall In Love With

Love is such a mysterious force you may think you have no control over it and you can’t help who you fall in love with.

But what if you did? What if there was a way that you could consciously influence your choices and decisions so that you could give yourself a better chance of having the relationship you really want?

In this video you will learn that you are not immune to love’s powers and that you do have a say in who you fall in love with.

Watch Here…

After watching today’s video please make sure to share your comments, questions and feedback down below

Have a great day!

Much Love,

Joe

Shouldn’t Every Day Be Valentine’s Day?

It’s the day before Valentine’s Day and I gotta get something off my chest.

Now you might not like what I’m Val Dayabout to say and you might think I’m an insensitive, selfish guy who doesn’t understand how you feel.

So, I’m going to ask you a favor. Before you send me an e-mail telling me that I’m just like all the other guys out there, promise me you’ll read this e-mail to the end. And if, at the end, you still think I’m a jerk, then I’ll gladly welcome your criticism.

So what is it that’s bugging me?

It’s Valentine’s day! I think the whole thing is stupid!

WHY?

Because what good is professing one’s love for a day if it’s not backed up by consistent words and actions the other 364 days of the year.

Now I get the whole commercialism of Valentine’s day! But c’mon. Do I really need to spend $75 on a dozen roses (the same roses that will cost me $30 bucks next week) to show my wife that I love her
[BTW…Just b/c I’m boycotting Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean I’m not getting my wife a card and a lil something….my momma didn’t raise no fool!]

It’s just that I think the whole Valentine’s Day thing is ridiculous.

I would hope that my wife feels my love the rest of the year (I know I feel hers). I hope she sees that the husband I try to be the whole year is much more important than flowers, a card and a nice dinner.

Don’t get me wrong. I love doing all of those things for Natalie. I love buying her things, I love dong things to maker her feel special and I love going out and having quiet, dinners alone (without the three boys) and I make a consistent effort to do that on a regular basis…and I don’t need f*ckin’ hallmark to remind me.

So this year I suggest we all boycott Valentine’s Day.

And if you’re not in a relationship and you’re feeling a ‘lil down go out and do something nice for yourself. Don’t get caught up in the hype and commercialism of Valentine’s day! Because in two days it’ll all be over and it won’t mean squat!

Do something to express your love and appreciation for yourself. Do something you’ve wanted to do for a long time, maybe a massage or day at the spa. Go out and buy that expensive handbag you’ve been wanting or go splurge on a cool piece of jewelry. Because you don’t need a guy to show you that you’re worth it!

At the end of the day, the most important love of all is the love you have for yourself!

Happy Valentine’s day!

Much Love,
Joe

PS,

I recently did an interview With LeAura Alderson of BestBoomersandBeyond.com. Its a really cool site and There’s lots of great stuff so if you’re a “boomer” and you’re looking to improve any aspect of your life (including your love life I invite you to check it out. To check out bestboomersandbeyond.com and to see my interview with LeAura
click Here==> http://bestboomersandbeyond.com/dating-baby-boomers/