Is Your Past Defining You or Destroying You?

Today I’d like to talk about something that is a HUGE obstacle for you. In fact this thing is so big and so vital it might be the only thing that is standing in the way between you and the Man/Relationship/Marriage you really pastwant.

Want to know what that obstacle is? It’s your PAST!!!!

Now you may be aware that your past is hurting you. You may be aware that you have been hurt, had your heart broken or been betrayed by a man (or several) that you had given your heart to. And you may even be aware that you are having a hard time finding love because you have some unresolved issues from your childhood because you didn’t get the love and acceptance you so desperately craved from your parents. And that has caused your self esteem and self -image to take a hit which causes you to make poor choices in your love life..

Or

You may not even be aware of how your past has been effecting you and your pursuit of love.

So, how do you fix a problem you don’[t even know exists? (HINT: see below you'll learn a Mirror Time Exercise for recognizing it)

You see when it comes to human behavior (and creating results) 96-98% of EVERYTHING you think, say or do originates from your unconscious mind. That means almost everything you do, almost every result you create (or don't create) is predicated on what you believe unconsciously.

Have you ever wondered why one person can read a book, attend a seminar or watch a video and take that information and create amazing results yet another person can take the same resources and no results?

When I first started sharing my checklist for Love program I was amazed at how half of the people I mentored went out and created GREAT results in their love life and the other half did squat.

So having the inquisitive mind that I have I started searching for answers. I waned to know why two people, both of who had access to the same information and resources got such different results.

Now, I had been around the block and studied enough personal growth and development experts and materials to know that it had to do with the person's unconscious mind and their beliefs.

But what I learned absolutely floored me.

I learned that there were specific reasons why some created great results and others continue struggle

You see, everything you do you do for very specific and predictable reasons. You're running around autopilot and you don't' even know it.

So understanding WHY you what you do is the beginning to solving your problems.

At first I started applying this to my own life. I started looking at my relationship w/my ex-fiancee. I was miserable for three years. And yet no matter how miserable I was I stayed and kept going back for more.

It made no sense "logically" and everyone who knew me was shocked. And I must admit even I was confused at my behavior. That relationship was like a crack addiction. I knew it wasn't good for me and I knew it wasn't giving me the experience I really wanted but for some reason I kept going back for more.

So, why am I sharing this with you?

Because I want you to understand that if you have been struggling and you're having a hard time finding and creating the love you really want (and deserve) it's b/c on some unconscious level you're "wired" not to have it.

Maybe....

-- you feel you don't deserve it or are not worthy of it

--maybe you are afraid of getting your heart ripped out and broken again

--maybe you feel you're not good enough and no one will ever love and accept you as you are (so you have to lose weight; fix your nose, boobs or ass; or do years of therapy to "fix" yourself)
or

--maybe you're afraid that you'll never get the love you really want and you're so afraid of being that you settle

And I can understand because there was a time I felt the same way. The reason I stayed w/my ex for three miserable years was b/c unconsciously I was afraid that I would never get what I was looking for so instead of holding out and going for the GOLD I settled and kept going back to a Toilet Bowl Relationship
[NOTE*** Toilet Bowl relationships are the kind that make you feel like crap]

After taking some serious time and dong some work on myself I recognized that I was so desperate to fill the void in my life after my dad died of cancer when I was 15 years old. I wanted a son of my own to replace the love that was missing and my ex was the “ticket” to get me there… or so I thought.

It was an expensive learning lesson, but one which ultimately led me to the truth and once I had identified the truth I was able to do the work and turn things around.

That was many years ago and the good news is I was able to overcome my past and make the changes I needed to make to have the relationship and son I was really looking for.

So why am I sharing this with you?

Because I want you to understand that if you’ve been struggling and you’ve been struggling for a long time THERE”S A REASON!!!.

And until you identify and deal with that reason you will keep running around in circles, reading books, blogs (like this) and investing in programs and products which won”t deliver the results you’re’ looking for.

I KNOW because I invested a ton of time, energy & money looking for answers in those same sources. And at the end of the day I always wound up in the same position I started from.

The good news is that it doesn’t take years or therapy and a ton of cash to get to the real cause(s) of your struggles

But it does require knowing where to look and knowing how to fix things.

Your past is only an experience in your journey and whether it defines you or destroys you is up to you. And contrary to popular belief it doesn’t have to be that difficult.

You are not broken, you don’t need years or therapy and you don’t need to be “fixed”.

You simply need to know where to look and the tools to overcome the obstacles which are keeping you from having the type of relationship you really want…AND DESERVE!
Her’s a lil clue to help you see if your past is blocking you:

Take a step out of your life as an observer and notice if there is any kid of pattern. Do you see that you are attracted the the wrong types of guys? Do you put up walls which prevent a guy form getting to know the real you? Do you try too hard to make someone love you or stay with you? (like I did)

or

Do blame anyone and everything (including your parents, your age, your ex, the “boys” or online dating) as to why you’re single and struggling in your love life?

And if you notice that there is a pattern recognize that that pattern is a gift from the Universe trying to show you what to do differently for you to have the LOVE you’re looking for.

If you have any questions, comments or feedback I invite yousahre em below.

Hope this helps!

Much Love,
Joe

if you know that your past is blocking you I invite you to check out the GPS for Love Mentoring Program, I’d love to show you how overcome your past and use it as fuel to create the results you really want in your love life. I’m getting ready to open up 5 more spots (check your e-mail tomorrow). Last month’s spots Sold-out so if you’re interested act fast.

The Difference Between Chemistry, Sexual Compatibility & Intimacy

The pursuit of love is confusing and frustrating as heck isn’t it?

Part of the confusion comes from not really understanding what it takes to create a relationship that will stand the test of time.

In this video you will learn the difference between Chemistry, Sexual Compatibility & Intimacy and what you must do if you are going to have the type of relationship you really want

Watch here…

Hope it helps!

Much Love,

Joe

Love Isn’t Fireworks and Butterflies

Last night I was watching a new show on Bravo called “The Singles Project.” I gotta come clean, I’m addicted to these reality shows kissing fireworksthat involve singles looking for love.

Right now I’m watching three: “The Singles Project,”  “Married at First Sight,” and ‘”Dating Naked.”

After appearing on several episodes of the Style Network’s “Jerseylicious” I learned that reality TV shows aren’t really reality.

Now I must admit that I knew going in that it wasn’t 100% reality but I was amazed to learn how much of these shows are scripted and guided by the the writers, producers and directors of the show.

You see, reality TV is a lot like professional wrestling. There are human beings and they’re doing things “live” but almost everything else is designed and made for TV.

So, why a I sharing this with you?

Because last night I saw something that made me want to jump up and throw something at the screen.

One of the “characters” on TSP looks into the camera and says’, “I believe that when you find true love you will feel butterflies and fireworks.”

And I wanted to yell thru the screen and say “NO, you dumb a**, love is not a picnic on the 4th of July”

And it’s something I hear all the time (in one of the following ways)…

I knew instantly b/c there was no chemistry”

“I wasn’t instantly attracted”

“His teeth were crooked”

“When I first met my “ex” I had this amazing chemistry/attraction, that’s what I want”

[NOTE***in every case the "EX" with the amazing chemistry/attraction turned out to be a douche bag who's no longer around]

The reason I find this so upsetting is b/c believing love is supposed to show up with fireworks, chemistry and butterflies  is one of the reasons you continue to struggle in your love life.

Now if you’re in your early to mid twenties, that’s OK, part of the journey is being able to figure out this out. To learn that real, true and everlasting love has nothing to do with butterflies and fireworks.

But if you’re single in your 30′s 40′s or 50′s (or beyond) and you’re still looking for amazing chemistry and the butterfly/fireworks thing I suggest you take some Mirror Time, some serious Mirror Time because if you keep thinking that you need love and fireworks
to find true love one of two things is going to happen…
1) you’ll wind up alone with a lot of cats

2) you’ll keep getting involved with the fireworks & butterflies guys and you’ll continue to wonder why it never turns into the love you really want..and deserve.

I believe that one of the biggest reasons you’re struggling in your pursuit of love is that you really don’t understand what true love is and as a result you’re looking for it in all the wrong places.

And I can relate, I did that for years. Until I learned the hard way.

So, if you think true love is based on an initial feeling of fireworks and butterflies I invite you to take some serious Mirror Time to get clear on what love really is.

In fact, In invite you to come up with your own definition of what love is. Because once you KNOW what love is, it’ll be much easier for you to find it and recognize it when it shows up (and to make sure you give it a chance to grow when there is no initial butterflies/fireworks.

Because butterflies, fly away and fireworks fade away but LOVE never dies, it only gets better with time!

I invite you to share your definition of love below on the comments section of this post . I won’t post mine today because I want you to come up with your own but I will post it tomorrow at 12PM EDT.

Be on the look for it

Hope this helps.

Much Love,

Joe

Are Your Standards Too High or Too Low?

One of the most common mistakes you may be making in your love life is having unrealistic standards (or having very low standards).

The truth is if you’re going to have a GREAT relationship you MUST have HIGH standards but there is a HUGE difference between high standards and unrealistic ones!

In this video you will learn how to recognize if your standards are the problem blocking your path to love

Watch here….

After you watch today;s blog In invite you to take some Mirror Time and see if your standards need some tweaking. And if they do feel free to share any questions, observations or comments you may have.

The GPS for Love community is a safe place for you to receive the guidance, support and direction you need to create the GREAT relationship you really want..and DESERVE!

Hope  This Helps!

Much Love,

Joe

How To Break Up With a Guy

Ever stay with a guy way too long because you were afraid of hurting his feelings.

Well, the irony is you hurt him more by not telling him and wasting more of his time.

Because the longer you wait to tell him the more his feelings and emotions are invested in thinking he has a future with you.

In today’s video you’ll learn how to gently break it off with a guy you’re no longer interested it

Watch here…

httpv://youtu.be/eszYHys4y0

Hope it helps!

Much Love,

Joe

You’re Ready For a GREAT Relationship When….

Happy Hump Day!

Natalie & I are off to a day at the beach with the boys. Summer is winding down and we want to get in a few more day trips before the boys good vs greathead back to school.

But before we hit the road I wanted to send you about an e-mail that will help you recognize if you’re ready for the type of relationship you really want…a GREAT relationship.

You see there are some women out there who simply want a relationship. They are so lonely and so desperate for the attention and affection of a man that they will take any guy that will pay attention to them.

But if you’re reading this you’re probably not one of those women. BIG HIGH FIVE!!!

And that’s a good thing because the majority of those women will never have the happy and fulfilling relationship they are searching for.

Because in order to have a GREAT relationship you have to do things a certain way.

One of the things that helped me in my journey was realizing that a GREAT relationship was simply a RESULT.

It was no different than getting in GREAT shape, having a GREAT, successful business or having a GREAT relationship with a friend.

None of these things happen by accident and the people who experience GREAT results in their life simply do things differently than the people who don’t.

The BIG AHA for me was understanding that a GREAT relationship was a result and if I wanted to create a GREAT result in any area of my life then the best way to do that was to learn from and model those individuals who already had that result.

Tony Robbins, one of my mentors once said that “success leaves clues.”

Well those three words have become a mantra for my life but I’ve also realized that “failure leaves clues also.”

In fact, I believe that we can learn the fastest by looking at our mistakes and failures.

Whenever I do a consultation with someone I can tell within five minutes if they are emotionally ready for a GREAT relationship.

How do I tell?

I ask them about their past.

And if they are filled with anger, hurt, despair or vitriol for their ex I know they are not emotionally ready.

You see, there is this thing called life that happens after the wedding and if you’re not emotionally ready and you pick a partner who is not emotionally ready then the stuff that life is going to throw at you is going to cause problems and destroy your relationship.

What you must realize that if a “MAN” is going to commit the rest of his life to you he must be confident that his life is going to be better and he’s going to be happier with you in his life.

And one of the ways a MAN will recognize if you’re the right woman for him is by seeing how you feel and deal with your past.

If a guy sees that you still have some issues with your ex, you’re angry, controlling, jealous, insecure, needy, and desperate to take any guy who will pay attention to you he’s gonna get scared and he’s gonna run away.

I know because I was once one of those guys.

After calling off my engagement with my ex I realized that if I was going to have a GREAT relationship I had to screen the women I date better.

And one of the ways I did that was by looking at how they dealt with their past.

You see, we all have pasts. But it is how we deal with the past that determines if you have a GREAT relationship or a mediocre one.

So, today I invite you to take some Mirror Time and ask yourself this one question…..”Are you grateful for your past and can you see it as an expensive learning lesson?”

If you answer “Yes,” congratulations I believe you are ready for the love you are seeking,

However, if you answer “NO” and you find out that you are still angry, hurt, sad or afraid that you’ll get screwed again I invite you to face those feelings and deal with them.

Because if you don’t deal with them now, you’ll have to deal with them later.

One of the lessons I’ve learned in my life is that running from the past causes so much more pain in the long run than the pain of just dealing with it.

After taking some Mirror Time and answering today’s question I invite you to share your observations, questions and feedback over on today’s blog.

Hope this helps

Much Love,
Joe

How Long Should You Wait?

One of the biggest obstacles to finding a GREAT relationship is knowing you’re wasting your time because a guy will never be able to give you ALL of the things you need for you to be happy.

So, today I decided to create a video which will help you determine when sticking around is a good idea and when it isn’t.

If you have a habit of investing too much time on guys you THINK will make you happy but who ultimately wind up letting you down this video is a MUST

Watch here…

Do you have a set of criteria you use to determine when you stay and when you should walk away?

if so, feel free to share it below with the other members of the GPS for Love community

Also, feel free to post any questions, observations or feedback. I love hearing from you!

Much Love,

Joe

Vagina….Right or Privilege?

Do you tend to give up the “goods” too soon?

Do you often plan to wait to sleep with a guy but find out once he starts nibbling on your neck that it’s too hard to resist?

If so, you MUST watch today’s vblog because you will learn that letting a guy into your pants too soon may actually be making it harder to create a GREAT relationship.

WHY?

Well, you’ll just have to watch to find out!

Watch here…

At the end of the video I invite you to create a “PLAN” which will help you recognize when a guy is interested in you and when he’s just interested in you for what is in your pants.

Hope this helps!

Much Love,

Joe

If You Don’t Love Yourself First….

Today I’m writing to you and feeling a lil bummed.

Yesterday morning when I woke up I turned robbin williamson the TV and saw the words “Celebrating the Life and Death of Robin Williams” on Good Morning America

Since I had fallen asleep early on Monday night and didn’t see the early reports of his death I simply assumed Robin Williams had died a quick and sudden death…heart attack, stroke, car accident, etc.”

But when Natalie told me it was due to suicide I immediately felt an uncomfortable feeling in my body.

Now I’ve done enough work on myself to know that when I have these types of feelings it’s b/c on an unconscious level some stuff is getting triggered.

So after taking some Mirror Time to reflect I was able to get to the root cause of my feelings.

I was feeling sad.

You see, Robin Williams had spent the last four decades making others (including me) laugh.

But unfortunately he couldn’t make the only person laugh who really mattered…himself.

And that was sad, very sad.

Because no matter how successful his career was, no matter how much fame and money he had, he didn’t have the love and acceptance of the ONLY person he really ever needed it from….ROBIN WILLIAMS.

I know on the surface it’s easy to look at someone like him and say that he took the easy way out.

But as someone who tried to take his own life when I was 16 I can relate to the emotional pain that he must have been feeling.

The only reason a person ever even thinks of committing suicide is because emotionally they can’t see things getting better. Imagine being alone in a house that is on fire and you don’t know how to get out. Well, that is what a person who contemplates suicide feels emotionally.

They don’t know how to get out and they don’t believe anyone is going to save them. So instead of the pain lingering they decide to end the suffering by taking their own life.

Now, I’m not saying I agree with this. I’m simply painting a picture of what it is like emotionally for someone who is in that state. A person who is suicidal is not thinking logically or rationally. Because when it comes to human behavior emotions trump logic every time!

The reason this tragedy hit me so hard is b/c it is something that I see which so prevalent in the world today.

We human beings are constantly looking for love and happiness outside of ourselves. Whether it’s in new clothes, a new car or a new lover we think that if he just had that “thing/person” than we would be happy.

And it’s a big lie, a BIG F*CKING LIE!

Because if you don’t love and accept yourself FIRST those things will only bring you temporary happiness. You see Robbin Williams had all of those things, a wife, kids, fame and fortune and the adulation of millions of people, yet at the end of the day he decided to strap a belt around his neck and hang himself.

There’s an old expression that says “How can you love anyone else, if you don’t love yourself first?”

Love, real love, is an inside job. And those who have the happiest, most fulfilling relationships realize this and work towards that. And once they have that self love they are in a better position to enjoy the happiness that the clothes, cars and others can give them.

Yesterday Robin Williams gave us the greatest gift of all. The reminder that if we are going to have the love (and life) we truly desire we must stop looking outside and start looking in because that is where the real answers lie.

So today I invite you to take some Mirror Time and ask yourself… What is one thing that you can do today to love (and accept) yourself just a little more?

And after taking that time I invite you to share your answer below.  I’ve already shared mine.

Hope this helps.

Much Love,
Joe

How To Communicate To Men

When it comes to communication men most definitely are from Mars and women are from Venus.

The Good news is that they can learn how to live on the same planet and one of the best ways to do that is to become better communicators.

In today’s vblog you will learn three specific tips and strategies that you can immediately use to improve your communication skills with the opposite sex

Watch here…

Hope it helps!

Much Love,