You know one of the things that I love and admire most about women is how big your hearts are. You have an incredible ability to
give and give and just when you think you’ve got nothing left to give, you find a way to give some more.
And as much as I admire this ability I must admit that I believe it is your Achilles heel.
Because too often you give at the expense of your own happiness.
You see, your big heart and desire to help and please others (especially men) is so big that it often causes you to give your heart to guys who are not able to CONSISTENTLY give you what it is you need to be happy (in and out of the bedroom)
And herein lies the problem.
Your desire to love and be loved is so strong that it often causes you to date a guy’s potential.
And that’s a HUGE mistake!
Just because a guy brings you flowers, says and does nice things in the beginning and rocks your world in the bedroom does not mean he is well suited to be a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP PARTNER..
And believe it or not this works both ways.
There was a time in my life where I felt if I could just show my “ex” the love, if I could be there for her like no one else was for her, that she would allow herself to open up and be the person I saw glimpses of.
You see my “ex” was a good person but ultimately what I learned is that she wasn’t good for me.
It was a very painful learning experience because it helped me see that no matter how much you love someone, no matter how much you support them and give to them, YOU CAN’T FIX OR SAVE THEM!
Because it’s not your job…It’s THEIRS!!!!
Can you support someone? Yes!
Can you love them like no one else ever has? Sure!
Can you be the support system they never had? Absolutely!!
Does that mean they will turn around and be the person you want them to be? NO!!!!
Because it is not your job! It is theirs! And if they’re not doing the work to change, be better or work on themselves then I’m afraid you are wasting your time.
Now I know this may be a lil blunt but I wish I had someone give it to me striaght back when I was trying to make my relationship into something more than it was….a Toliet Bowl Relationship which made me feel like crap most of the time because I wasn’t
consistently getting what I needed to be happy.
If you want to have a GREAT relationship, one that will stand the test of time and meet all of your needs (in and out of the bedroom). I suggest you do the same thing I did.
Make a decision to only be in a relationship with a person you don’t have to “fix” or “”save”. Because with the wrong person a relationship can be a lot of work and lead to a ton of heartache. BUT …with the right person, a relationship can be surprisingly easy and fulfilling.
In fact, that’s one of the ways you’ll recognize when the right guy comes along!
So, What’s been your experience? Have you been in relationships where you tried to fix or save a guy? Did you think that if you just loved him, cared for him and did for him he would open up and give you the love you were hoping for? If so, how did it work out? I”d love
for you to share your experience below in teh comments section with the other members of the GPS for Love community. Because there might be one woman right now
who could benefit from your input.
Hope this helps!