Love Isn’t Fireworks and Butterflies

Last night I was watching a new show on Bravo called “The Singles Project.” I gotta come clean, I’m addicted to these reality shows kissing fireworksthat involve singles looking for love.

Right now I’m watching three: “The Singles Project,”  “Married at First Sight,” and ‘”Dating Naked.”

After appearing on several episodes of the Style Network’s “Jerseylicious” I learned that reality TV shows aren’t really reality.

Now I must admit that I knew going in that it wasn’t 100% reality but I was amazed to learn how much of these shows are scripted and guided by the the writers, producers and directors of the show.

You see, reality TV is a lot like professional wrestling. There are human beings and they’re doing things “live” but almost everything else is designed and made for TV.

So, why a I sharing this with you?

Because last night I saw something that made me want to jump up and throw something at the screen.

One of the “characters” on TSP looks into the camera and says’, “I believe that when you find true love you will feel butterflies and fireworks.”

And I wanted to yell thru the screen and say “NO, you dumb a**, love is not a picnic on the 4th of July”

And it’s something I hear all the time (in one of the following ways)…

I knew instantly b/c there was no chemistry”

“I wasn’t instantly attracted”

“His teeth were crooked”

“When I first met my “ex” I had this amazing chemistry/attraction, that’s what I want”

[NOTE***in every case the "EX" with the amazing chemistry/attraction turned out to be a douche bag who's no longer around]

The reason I find this so upsetting is b/c believing love is supposed to show up with fireworks, chemistry and butterflies  is one of the reasons you continue to struggle in your love life.

Now if you’re in your early to mid twenties, that’s OK, part of the journey is being able to figure out this out. To learn that real, true and everlasting love has nothing to do with butterflies and fireworks.

But if you’re single in your 30′s 40′s or 50′s (or beyond) and you’re still looking for amazing chemistry and the butterfly/fireworks thing I suggest you take some Mirror Time, some serious Mirror Time because if you keep thinking that you need love and fireworks
to find true love one of two things is going to happen…
1) you’ll wind up alone with a lot of cats

2) you’ll keep getting involved with the fireworks & butterflies guys and you’ll continue to wonder why it never turns into the love you really want..and deserve.

I believe that one of the biggest reasons you’re struggling in your pursuit of love is that you really don’t understand what true love is and as a result you’re looking for it in all the wrong places.

And I can relate, I did that for years. Until I learned the hard way.

So, if you think true love is based on an initial feeling of fireworks and butterflies I invite you to take some serious Mirror Time to get clear on what love really is.

In fact, In invite you to come up with your own definition of what love is. Because once you KNOW what love is, it’ll be much easier for you to find it and recognize it when it shows up (and to make sure you give it a chance to grow when there is no initial butterflies/fireworks.

Because butterflies, fly away and fireworks fade away but LOVE never dies, it only gets better with time!

I invite you to share your definition of love below on the comments section of this post . I won’t post mine today because I want you to come up with your own but I will post it tomorrow at 12PM EDT.

Be on the look for it

Hope this helps.

Much Love,

Joe

Are Your Standards Too High or Too Low?

One of the most common mistakes you may be making in your love life is having unrealistic standards (or having very low standards).

The truth is if you’re going to have a GREAT relationship you MUST have HIGH standards but there is a HUGE difference between high standards and unrealistic ones!

In this video you will learn how to recognize if your standards are the problem blocking your path to love

Watch here….

After you watch today;s blog In invite you to take some Mirror Time and see if your standards need some tweaking. And if they do feel free to share any questions, observations or comments you may have.

The GPS for Love community is a safe place for you to receive the guidance, support and direction you need to create the GREAT relationship you really want..and DESERVE!

Hope  This Helps!

Much Love,

Joe

How To Break Up With a Guy

Ever stay with a guy way too long because you were afraid of hurting his feelings.

Well, the irony is you hurt him more by not telling him and wasting more of his time.

Because the longer you wait to tell him the more his feelings and emotions are invested in thinking he has a future with you.

In today’s video you’ll learn how to gently break it off with a guy you’re no longer interested it

Watch here…

httpv://youtu.be/eszYHys4y0

Hope it helps!

Much Love,

Joe

You’re Ready For a GREAT Relationship When….

Happy Hump Day!

Natalie & I are off to a day at the beach with the boys. Summer is winding down and we want to get in a few more day trips before the boys good vs greathead back to school.

But before we hit the road I wanted to send you about an e-mail that will help you recognize if you’re ready for the type of relationship you really want…a GREAT relationship.

You see there are some women out there who simply want a relationship. They are so lonely and so desperate for the attention and affection of a man that they will take any guy that will pay attention to them.

But if you’re reading this you’re probably not one of those women. BIG HIGH FIVE!!!

And that’s a good thing because the majority of those women will never have the happy and fulfilling relationship they are searching for.

Because in order to have a GREAT relationship you have to do things a certain way.

One of the things that helped me in my journey was realizing that a GREAT relationship was simply a RESULT.

It was no different than getting in GREAT shape, having a GREAT, successful business or having a GREAT relationship with a friend.

None of these things happen by accident and the people who experience GREAT results in their life simply do things differently than the people who don’t.

The BIG AHA for me was understanding that a GREAT relationship was a result and if I wanted to create a GREAT result in any area of my life then the best way to do that was to learn from and model those individuals who already had that result.

Tony Robbins, one of my mentors once said that “success leaves clues.”

Well those three words have become a mantra for my life but I’ve also realized that “failure leaves clues also.”

In fact, I believe that we can learn the fastest by looking at our mistakes and failures.

Whenever I do a consultation with someone I can tell within five minutes if they are emotionally ready for a GREAT relationship.

How do I tell?

I ask them about their past.

And if they are filled with anger, hurt, despair or vitriol for their ex I know they are not emotionally ready.

You see, there is this thing called life that happens after the wedding and if you’re not emotionally ready and you pick a partner who is not emotionally ready then the stuff that life is going to throw at you is going to cause problems and destroy your relationship.

What you must realize that if a “MAN” is going to commit the rest of his life to you he must be confident that his life is going to be better and he’s going to be happier with you in his life.

And one of the ways a MAN will recognize if you’re the right woman for him is by seeing how you feel and deal with your past.

If a guy sees that you still have some issues with your ex, you’re angry, controlling, jealous, insecure, needy, and desperate to take any guy who will pay attention to you he’s gonna get scared and he’s gonna run away.

I know because I was once one of those guys.

After calling off my engagement with my ex I realized that if I was going to have a GREAT relationship I had to screen the women I date better.

And one of the ways I did that was by looking at how they dealt with their past.

You see, we all have pasts. But it is how we deal with the past that determines if you have a GREAT relationship or a mediocre one.

So, today I invite you to take some Mirror Time and ask yourself this one question…..”Are you grateful for your past and can you see it as an expensive learning lesson?”

If you answer “Yes,” congratulations I believe you are ready for the love you are seeking,

However, if you answer “NO” and you find out that you are still angry, hurt, sad or afraid that you’ll get screwed again I invite you to face those feelings and deal with them.

Because if you don’t deal with them now, you’ll have to deal with them later.

One of the lessons I’ve learned in my life is that running from the past causes so much more pain in the long run than the pain of just dealing with it.

After taking some Mirror Time and answering today’s question I invite you to share your observations, questions and feedback over on today’s blog.

Hope this helps

Much Love,
Joe

How Long Should You Wait?

One of the biggest obstacles to finding a GREAT relationship is knowing you’re wasting your time because a guy will never be able to give you ALL of the things you need for you to be happy.

So, today I decided to create a video which will help you determine when sticking around is a good idea and when it isn’t.

If you have a habit of investing too much time on guys you THINK will make you happy but who ultimately wind up letting you down this video is a MUST

Watch here…

Do you have a set of criteria you use to determine when you stay and when you should walk away?

if so, feel free to share it below with the other members of the GPS for Love community

Also, feel free to post any questions, observations or feedback. I love hearing from you!

Much Love,

Joe

Vagina….Right or Privilege?

Do you tend to give up the “goods” too soon?

Do you often plan to wait to sleep with a guy but find out once he starts nibbling on your neck that it’s too hard to resist?

If so, you MUST watch today’s vblog because you will learn that letting a guy into your pants too soon may actually be making it harder to create a GREAT relationship.

WHY?

Well, you’ll just have to watch to find out!

Watch here…

At the end of the video I invite you to create a “PLAN” which will help you recognize when a guy is interested in you and when he’s just interested in you for what is in your pants.

Hope this helps!

Much Love,

Joe

If You Don’t Love Yourself First….

Today I’m writing to you and feeling a lil bummed.

Yesterday morning when I woke up I turned robbin williamson the TV and saw the words “Celebrating the Life and Death of Robin Williams” on Good Morning America

Since I had fallen asleep early on Monday night and didn’t see the early reports of his death I simply assumed Robin Williams had died a quick and sudden death…heart attack, stroke, car accident, etc.”

But when Natalie told me it was due to suicide I immediately felt an uncomfortable feeling in my body.

Now I’ve done enough work on myself to know that when I have these types of feelings it’s b/c on an unconscious level some stuff is getting triggered.

So after taking some Mirror Time to reflect I was able to get to the root cause of my feelings.

I was feeling sad.

You see, Robin Williams had spent the last four decades making others (including me) laugh.

But unfortunately he couldn’t make the only person laugh who really mattered…himself.

And that was sad, very sad.

Because no matter how successful his career was, no matter how much fame and money he had, he didn’t have the love and acceptance of the ONLY person he really ever needed it from….ROBIN WILLIAMS.

I know on the surface it’s easy to look at someone like him and say that he took the easy way out.

But as someone who tried to take his own life when I was 16 I can relate to the emotional pain that he must have been feeling.

The only reason a person ever even thinks of committing suicide is because emotionally they can’t see things getting better. Imagine being alone in a house that is on fire and you don’t know how to get out. Well, that is what a person who contemplates suicide feels emotionally.

They don’t know how to get out and they don’t believe anyone is going to save them. So instead of the pain lingering they decide to end the suffering by taking their own life.

Now, I’m not saying I agree with this. I’m simply painting a picture of what it is like emotionally for someone who is in that state. A person who is suicidal is not thinking logically or rationally. Because when it comes to human behavior emotions trump logic every time!

The reason this tragedy hit me so hard is b/c it is something that I see which so prevalent in the world today.

We human beings are constantly looking for love and happiness outside of ourselves. Whether it’s in new clothes, a new car or a new lover we think that if he just had that “thing/person” than we would be happy.

And it’s a big lie, a BIG F*CKING LIE!

Because if you don’t love and accept yourself FIRST those things will only bring you temporary happiness. You see Robbin Williams had all of those things, a wife, kids, fame and fortune and the adulation of millions of people, yet at the end of the day he decided to strap a belt around his neck and hang himself.

There’s an old expression that says “How can you love anyone else, if you don’t love yourself first?”

Love, real love, is an inside job. And those who have the happiest, most fulfilling relationships realize this and work towards that. And once they have that self love they are in a better position to enjoy the happiness that the clothes, cars and others can give them.

Yesterday Robin Williams gave us the greatest gift of all. The reminder that if we are going to have the love (and life) we truly desire we must stop looking outside and start looking in because that is where the real answers lie.

So today I invite you to take some Mirror Time and ask yourself… What is one thing that you can do today to love (and accept) yourself just a little more?

And after taking that time I invite you to share your answer below.  I’ve already shared mine.

Hope this helps.

Much Love,
Joe

How To Communicate To Men

When it comes to communication men most definitely are from Mars and women are from Venus.

The Good news is that they can learn how to live on the same planet and one of the best ways to do that is to become better communicators.

In today’s vblog you will learn three specific tips and strategies that you can immediately use to improve your communication skills with the opposite sex

Watch here…

Hope it helps!

Much Love,

How To Tell If A Guy is Interested in Having a Relationship…With You

I recently received an e-mail from one of the members of our GPS for Love community who wanted to know how she could tell when a guy was interested in her vs when he was interested in her only for what was in her pants.

It’s a common question that many of the members of our GPS for Love community struggle with so today I decided to create a video to help you recognize the three signs which let you know a guy is really interested in you…for more than a sex toy

Watch here…

If you have any questions, comments or feedback on how a guy shows he’s interested in a relationship please feel free to post em in the comments section below.

Enjoy!

Much Love,

Joe

Fools Rush In

The other night I was having a hard time staying asleep so I decided to turn on the TV and do some channel surfing. And after scanning thru the billion channels I was finally able to find something fools rush into watch.

It was a movie from the 80′s called Fools Rush In starring Matthew Perry from Friends and the beautiful Salma Hayek (yes, I think she’s a hottie!).

Now I must admit I have seen this movie before. In fact, I have probably seen it about a dozen times over the years. I’m a sucker for 80′s movies and I can watch most of them over and over again.

As I started watching this movie I started reflecting on my own love life. I started thinking about all of the times I rushed into a relationships. In fact, I even noticed a pattern. I normally would go out with a girl once or twice and the next thing I knew I was in a relationship.

In almost every instance a few weeks or months would go by and I would realize that I should have never been with this woman in the first place (and to be honest, there were times where the woman realized that she shouldn’t be with me.)

I remember after my engagement ended realizing that one of the biggest mistakes I made with my ex was jumping into a relationship before I really knew her.

In fact, it was that little bit of Mirror Time which helped me to realize that if I was going to have the type of relationship I really wanted than I had to be smarter abut the women I chose to have a relationship with. It made sense that if I took a lil time and got to know someone better than I would automatically increase my chances of having a good relationship. I decided that from that moment on I was going to get to know someone a lil better BEFORE I jumped into a relationship with them.

And that one simple change made a huge difference in my love life and it was a key factor which helped me to create the relationship I really wanted.
So, why am I sharing this with you? Because if you are like I was, one of the biggest mistakes that you may be making is jumping into a relationship too soon.

Now, believe me I understand. Us human beings are wired for love. It’s in our DNA. And sometimes we want it so bad (or we’re afraid we’ll never find it ) that we try to force things and we rush into relationships.

One of the best tings you can do to increase your chances of having a rockin’ relationship is to get to know someone, to actually “date” them a few times BEFORE you jump into a relationship with them.

Because when you do take your time you’re and you actually get to know the person you’ll get to see more of who they are and you’ll be in a much better postilion to know if they’re a good match for you.

So, today I invite you to take some Mirror Time and look over your past as of you were an observer. Would you notice that you have a history of jumping into relationships?

And if you do ask yourself this one question…”How is that working?”

And more importantly ask yourself , “What can I do differently to increase my chances so that I can have the kind of relationship (and guy) I really want?”

After taking that Mirror Time I invite you to share your observations, questions or comments below with the other members of our community so that they can learn from your insight and experience.

Have an amazing day!

Much Love,
Joe