Is FWB a Good or Bad Thing?


In this hyper fast, world we live in there is a relatively new term called FWB. FWB stands for “Friends with Benefits”. The premise behind this is that two individuals who are friends can have sex and fulfill their physical desires  without having to worry about the other aspects of a relationship.

Now before I give you my opinion,which may shock you considering I’m a guy, I want to know what you think. Do you think FWB is a good idea? If so, why or why not? Have you ever been involved in a FWB situation? If so, how did it work out?

The FWB topic is one of the most popular topics that I receive questions about. So, ladies…let’s hear what you have to say. Please leave your comments below. I will post my response at the end of the week!

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15 Responses to Is FWB a Good or Bad Thing?

  1. Joe Amoia says:

    Jake,isn’t it better to simply find a woman that you can be in a happy relationship and F*CK?Isn’t doing everything you are saying alot of wasted time & emotion.if you just want to get laid and want no strings attached wouldn’t a prostitute work best?Or is there a reason you only want sex and nothing else from a woman?Just asking….Much Love,

  2. Jake Fischer says:

    First of all I am a guy. If you go through with this you need to be mature about it. Well not real mature, but you need to understand emotions will ruin this, as well as labels. If you want to label this relation as a “FWB” or “F**** Buddy” deal you should first try at least getting dome or making out-at the least. There is nothing more awkward than asking to be friends with benefits when nothing has happened before. If nothing has happened, then try flirting and joking around with her/him, if you are shy, and/or this is out of the question then alcohol is your best friend. Now after you have had a few “acquaintances” with her/him then you should lightly start what I like to call the “awkward if you make it awkward conversation”. Jokingly text them, start with “hey whats up” or something light then when they ask you whats up say “just contemplating if im really about to start this awkward conversation” or something along those lines. If they text you back after that, they are probably at least curious what you have to say. Now from here mention, “If I say something you do not like, tell me to fuck off and i will” (this shows you respect her/his emotions, and you better, because if she/he says fuck off and you do, she/he might text you back later.) use past experiences to help you, show that you remember time spent together and then STOP, HALT. Right here decide will you ask her/him to be friends with benefits or do you have deeper feelings because then you need to talk more and start a more meaningful relationship. If you are still looking for “FWB” relation then hello again. You need to probably meet with them and let “things” happen and then lay down the big question “Am I not just the greatest?”, just kidding you need to talk a bit then say “Would you like to meet more often then not and make this a regular thing”, if yes then say, “Alright I would say we are friends so why not make this a FWB deal” if she says no then STOP, HALT. This is not the end of the world maybe she just doesn’t want to label the situation, if so say “Im sorry, was it the FWB label? If so we can just call it a friendship”. Now from here on out it only gets more difficult, sorry to say. Seriously you need to be carful with emotions, people finding out, and especially your partners emotions. This is a long enough post but from my experience these relations can work from long periods of time and multiple at a time (but better honest with all of them [tell them if you have other FWB] because if not, it will ruin things). Also all of the talking in “quotes” will go better in person, than texting if at all possible, then there is not an awkward (when you ponder oh shit should I have said that) delay. Peace and good luck with all and any types of relationships.

  3. Joe Amoia says:

    Hi Chelsea,I’ve written 2 artciles which may help you out on FWB. I’m confident that after reading them you will know if FWB is a good idea for you.Hope they Help!Much Love,

  4. Chelsea says:

    I am going through this right now. My step mom said we had to just stay friends that we couldnt date.. BUT we both have major feelings for each other. I told him how I wanted to kiss him, and he said he wanted to as well.. But it was wrong for him to do that if we couldnt date, and he doesnt want to hurt me. So I brought up FWB and he was and is for it but there is no sex involved, whatsoever. I heard it will end up turning out bad, or not the way we planned. Is it a good idea or a bad??? Please help me…………..

  5. Joe Amoia says:

    Jane, Thanx for the honest and forthright reply. Now before I go any further let me say that I have only rule I go by. “howz it working for you?”If this FWB situation is working for you and making you happy and helping you live the life you desire and be the person you want to be (on all levels) than God Bless you I think that’s awesome. No human being has the right to tell you what to do and how to do it. It is your life and you are responsible for all of you choices and actions.I have 2 questions for you:
    1) does your husband (I’m assuming u’r the married one b/c u said the sex is good at home) know about your FWB situation. Are you upfront and honest with him? If you are and he has no problem with it than that’s great. If not, Why not? Why are you keeping it from him. Is that b/c on some level you know you are being dishonest and there will be consequences for your actions? How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. And if it is (that is your husband is cheating also) does being in a marriage where you are both cheating really work for you?2) You say you keep your emotions at bay but are you really. Is that just w ay of you rationalizing and justifying your situation so you don’t have to deal with your reality. Our emotions are like pushing a beach ball under the water. You can suppress them but sooner or later they are going to pop up and reveal themselves.It seems to me that something is missing form your home life. You admit the sex is phenomenal at home so what is it that your FWB situation gives you that you aren’t getting at home. B/c I have a feeling if you were getting that thing at home you wouldn’t be having an affair, would you? Something to think about.Again thanx for your honest e-mail. I wish you nothing but the best!Much Love,

  6. jane says:

    I have been involved in a FWB relationship for apprx 4 mos. One of us is married and the other is involved in a long distance relationship. Although the sex is pneominal at home i still love my FWB situation. I set fround rules with myself no emotional involvement and i have beendoing well with it. Although he has told me he loves me it goes no further than that. Our sex is totally mind blowing and i am not giving it up unless i have to. Emotions? Yeah there are some how can there not be? I just learn to mask them. Disappointment sets in when we cant get together so i know there is some emotional involvement but otherwise all is good and i keep the emotions at bay.

  7. Karen says:

    This is not a good idea usually one person is lying to themselves and hoping for more espcially if the sex is good even the person who does not want more will get upset if the other statrs to date b/c he is threatened by the idea that his free sex will stop. So he holds the woman back from finding love.

  8. Matilda says:

    I am a 60 year old who was in 2 FWB relationships in the past 4 years. (Yes, to all you young ladies out there, us older women have the desire and can perform when it comes to sex!!)
    One relationship, 3.5 years, was with a man who was not interested in me as far as a romantic relationship, but I broke it off when I realized it was not going anywhere. I thought that it could go somewhere. I was more emotionally involved than he was. I would have liked it to go to the next level, but he was @14 years younger than I was. The sex was good, and made me feel desirable again after being newly divorced.
    Another FWB relationship was 4 yrs long with a man who was half my age. Our FWB worked as we both had our needs met. It was the best sex of both of our lives. When he told me he couldn’t see me anymore, because he was getting married, I cried. I was emotionally involved with him, because we both had gotten so close. On one level, I knew one day he would be committed to someone, but I was emotionally invested in him. My memories of us together still make me happy. Anything that makes you smile( as long as you are not hurting anyone) should not be regretted.

  9. Heather says:

    I believe it depends on what the person is looking for. If the person really wants a relationship, then no, it won’t work and is not a good idea to carry on. Especially if on some level on person is secretly wishing it will turn into something. It won’t. If the guy is only interested in that. He is only interested in that.
    If the person really just wants to have fun and is not looking for anything more and both persons are on the same page, I think its OK. We are all adults and everyone has needs and wants. They can be different. Especially if just coming out of a relationship and trying to get over it or for whatever reason the person just doesn’t want or can’t handle an emotional tie. But that’s the key. Its not an emotional tie, it won’t lead to one and at some point it will have to end.
    That’s my opinion. Like u always say. Can’t make excuses so as long as not doing it hoping it will lead or turn into something or is preventing you from moving on then they can be fun (for limited times).

  10. Mary P says:

    I have a FWB relationship. I’ve known him for decades. He initiated it more than a year ago. This works for me because I do not have the time to devote to a full-time relationship, but don’t want to live without sex.
    One thing that helps is that this is a long distance FWB thing. Despite that, he was getting emotionally involved. He has pulled back some but I’ll be seeing him again in early March. I do care about him. If I didn’t, I don’t think I could do this. But I know there is no future in this because we have some fundamental differences that I can’t overlook.
    Oddly, that’s part of what makes this work. I’m not trying to change him. It is what it is. I do agree that it is inevitable that one will um … explore changing the rules. I absolutely do not want to hurt him. I know I should break it off but the sex is so phenomenal I just can’t give it up.

  11. Kim says:

    I’ve never did that – FWB. I’m not interested in this, I’ve had friends who were doing it. It always seem to lead to one of the parties wanting more. Just like what Mary said. You are putting that friendship at stake when you do that. I don’t see how it could work. Emotions always get involved.

  12. Mary says:

    I’ve had a FWB situation and it was a disaster. It started off great but after awhile the guy wanted more. He started to get jealous and wanted “more” from me. Once he finally realized that I didn’t want a relationship with him he told me that he couldn’t handle it any more and ultimately I wound up losing his friendship as well, which sucked because he was a really good friend.
    If I had to do it all over again I don’t know if I would. I would have been better off going to the sex shop and buying myself a new toy! This way I would still have my friend and I would have my “desires” taken care of. Why is this dating/men thing so complicated?

  13. Nancy says:

    I have mixed feelings about it. I am a 39 year old woman who has been single and celibate for less than a year. I would love to have a FWB, but I don’t know if it would work for me. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep my emotions out of the bedroom. I think if it was a one time “shot” It could be ok, but if it was an ongoing thing I think it may be too complicated.

  14. Annette says:

    FWB will only work if both people stick to the ground rules. More often then not when 2 consenting adults enter into a FWB type situation, one or both eventually develop feelings and someone almost always ends up getting hurt, been there, done that

  15. nms says:

    Yes, I have been involved in a “FWB” relationship in the past. It was both beneficial to myself and my friend. We were comfortable with each other, expected nothing in return, and were there for each other to comfort our needs and emotions. We experienced no glitches and it was beneficial to both of us.

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