How Do You Define LOVE?


The other day was having a conversation with a woman who admitted she was unhappy and unfulfilled in her relationship. She openly admitted that the man she was with was not meeting her needs on almost every level and it had been like this for a long time?

When I asked why she continued to stay with this guy she uttered the famous phrase…”but I love him.”

I’m not suggesting that she didn’t have strong feelings for the guy but I am suggesting that she had a distorted definition of what LOVE truly is.

What do you think? Is she right? Is it Love…. or something else?

Watch this to see my thoughts…

Please make sure to post your definition of LOVE and any comments or questions you may below.

Much Love,



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7 Responses to How Do You Define LOVE?

  1. Dana says:

    Tricia, what would you say to someone who accepts the premise that you must love and accept yourself before you can love another, but hasn’t a real clue how to learn to love themselves. I’ve usually landed on the negative side of self assessment.

  2. Kate says:

    Hey Joe,
    Here’s the thing. I have learned that in order to define love I first had to examine what makes ME “feel” loved. In addition, I noticed that the men I find myself attracted to the most, are men who display a loving and caring demeanor, regardless of whether they are brain surgeons or grocery clerks, AND whether they are gorgeous or fat, balding and old. It mattered more to me how they presented themselves. I became attracted to them by simply that one thing. Someone who I would have walked by any other day, suddenly became very appealing to me because of something they SAID in a wonderful way.
    So, to answer your question of how do I define love? I think love is any caring, kind, thoughtful word or gesture from someone else who triggers in me a loving response. I am warmed and empowered by displays of love. I am motivated and energized by displays of love. Since I don’t have a man living with me full time doing this, I take it where I can find it in smaller doses. When I date, I am sensitive to a man’s desire to show care for me, and to treat me well. It makes me comfortable with expressing a loving, caring response to them, even if the relationship isn’t necessarily “the one”. It has attracted to me a better quality and class of men all over. I feel this will bring the right man into my life once and for all.

  3. Joe Amoia says:

    Kathie, I agree! Love is not fear. it is not about making choices and decisions because you are afraid if you don’t you will lose what you have (the real question is what do you really have?)Love is about being with someone who makes you happy and your life better…consistently!it'[s that simple!

  4. Kathie says:

    Joe, your message is so simple, but so very true!

    Love, as you have described from the ladies you hear from, isn’t love…It’s longing…longing to make him who he isn’t, so he will fill a void inside of you…Love, to me, is accepting who you are and who you are not….and the same with the man that you profess to “love”…. Love is, to me anyway, accepting the great things about a man, and really looking at how he makes you feel by the way he treats you…Love isn’t about changing someone, healing your past through someone…Its about friendship…Do you feel better about yourself and the world by interacting with this man???

    Just Saying…

  5. Joe Amoia says:

    Linda,I can understand u’r frustration. There was a time where I was exactly where you are. Everyone was telling me what a good catch I was yet I was still alone.I hated the bar scene and found out that most single events were filled will really desperate people or those who had unrealistic expectations. Yes, there ae so many people out there with baggage and who are not relationship material, but the good news is you only need one. Once I identified who that one was I then spent my energy on screening out the ones who weren’t a good fit for me. B/c the truth is there are a ton of Good single men and women out there (literally millions). The trick is being able to screen them quickly and figure out which ones are worth getting to know better.Stay tuned we’ve got lots of cool things in store for 2012. The journey doesn’t have to be that difficult. You simply need to admit that u don'[t have all the answers and to be open to learn how to do somethings differentlyHappy Holidays!Much Love,

  6. linda librizzi says:

    what happens when you do love yourself, make a stand, move on from a non loving relationship…then end up alone? It is so hard to meet people as an adult and seems almost impossible to find love.
    reality is that there are so many people out there alone but unwilling to open up to others.
    reality is love must grow and when individuals will not open up how can love grow?

  7. Tricia says:

    Joe, I can not tell you how on point you are. I am a Family Counselor and I must say with all of the academic training that we receive; it is by far the simple things that holds the most weight in gold. Love ‘IS’ first loving God, yourself and others.

    Often times we tend to try and ‘love’ others before learning how to first love ourselves. Strangely enough, I hear this all the time. Someone may say, “I put up with the maltreatment because I love him or her.” My next question to ask is to define their definition of LOVE. Many people have different definitions; And most opinions where formed based upon their life experiences or an unmet need in their lives. And I can not agree with your analogy more, (the cake, and icing). I do not believe that someone has the ability to complete another individual. I believe that two whole individuals complete the pair. I often say, what happens if the person who you thought completed you decides to just walk away, now what. I can’t express how important it is to ‘KNOW THYSELF’, ‘LOVE THYSELF’ – the good, the bad – the indifferent! I believe then and only then can you see your way clear to ‘choose’ the individual whereby you both can be an ‘accent’ (icing) to one another. (smile)

    Thanks Joe,
    Keep Em Coming……

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