Men Don’t Want Commitment…Is It True?

 

Today I gotta let off a lil steam. You see I’m a lil stressed out.

Natalie is having major surgery on Friday and we’re looking at a two months before she is able to make a full recovery and get back to 100%.                                                                                                            

It’s been a long road. For the past two years I have watched my wife suffer with a pain that started off gradually and which continued to intensify and get to the point where it is almost constant.

I have watched her try everything and anything to alleviate her pain and it wasn’t until recently that she realized that surgery was the only option left.

And it’s very difficult for me as her husband to not be able to make her feel better. One of the most difficult and frustrating things to a man is when he feels his hands are tied and he feels powerless
Now I gotta tell you, the reason why I have to let off some steam is not not so much because of what’s going on and what we’ll have to deal with the over the next several weeks. I learned a long time ago that life is going to throw stuff at you that you’ll have to deal with, whether you like it or not.

That’s not what’s got my knickers in a twist (I hope I got that right for out U.K. friends).

The reason I’m a lil jacked up is I just read a comment on my YouTube channel. It’s a comment I hear A LOT. And each time I hear it my blood pressure starts to rise.

So what was the comment?

Here it is exactly as it was written…. “No men want commitment these days.

And the reason why this comment has pushed my buttons is simply because…”IT’S NOT TRUE!”

I’m a guy who has been in a committed relationship for 17 years. Every day I wake up and I do my best to be the best man I can be for my wife and kids (and myself). I give 100% of who I am to my relationship, not because I have to but because I want to.

I understand that having a special woman (to share my lie with) is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. And I don’t take it for granted

Now before you start building me a shrine and genuflecting in my presence, please understand that’s not my intention for sharing this with you. I’m simply telling you this because I want you to know there are lots of guys like me out there. I’m just the one who’s balls are big enough to write about it and put it out there for the world to see.

I’m not special at all. I’m just your average “Joe,” and there are a lot of other good men like me out there.

I understand that it may be hard for you to believe that, but here’s the deal.

Until you have dated every guy on the plant you can no longer generalize and lump us all together. You can no longer say…

  • “Men can’t commit”
  • Men only care about getting laid
  • Men can’t be trusted
  • Men are afraid of commitment
  • Men don’t know how to treat womenEtc, etc…

Look, I get it. There are a ton of selfish, immature, emotionally unavailable guys out there. And based on your experience those are the only types of guys you’ve encountered, right?.

But let’s be honest. Even if you’ve been single for 25 years, you’re own personal dating and relationship history has involved no more than a few dozen guys.

Now understand this…there are 3.5 billion men on the planet. So until you’ve dated every single man on the planet, you can no longer generalize and lump all men together.

Don’t give me that B.S. about all of the good guys being taken. That’s just a story you tell yourself so you don’t have to put yourself out there and get hurt again.

Now look, it works both ways. Guys can say all women are superficial and needy. And to be completely transparent, there was a time in my early thirties when that was my mantra.

The reason I felt that way was because up to that point that was my experience. Most of the women that I dated or had been involved with fit into one of those two categories.

There were the superficial women who wanted a guy with the perfect hair, perfect smile and perfect body (none of which I possessed),  and there were the needy women who were so desperate to have a guy in their life that they would take any guy who would pay attention to them.

Was there a part of me that wanted to “label” women. Yes! But I know labeling women wasn’t going to make things easier for me. So instead of focusing my energy on the superficial and needy women, I decided to put my energy on avoiding those women and finding the ONE woman who would be able to give me the love I was looking for.

So you have a choice.

You can focus your energy on how much “men” suck and how they can’t commit, or you can acknowledge that there are “some” men out there like that, (actually lots of ’em) BUT there are also good honest men who would love to be in a committed relationship with the right woman.

It’s your choice and your journey and I respect your right to live your life in whatever way works best for you. If you want to be a card carrying member of the BMC (B*tch and Moan Club), knock yourself out. But don’t be surprised if all you keep finding is guy’s who can’t commit.

You see, the energy that you put out (in thought, word & action) is what the Universe sends back to you.

If however, you start believing that there are good guys out there and you start putting yourself out there with this new mindset, you might be surprised at how the quality of men you start interacting with begins to change.

Does, that mean all of the selfish jerks who only care about getting laid are going to disappear? No, It doesn’t. I’m not delusional and I don’t live in fantasy-land. Those guys have existed from the beginning of time and they’ll be here until the apocalypse.

But I promise you that if you stop labeling the male species and stop lumping all men together into one category, you’ll not only make things easier on yourself, you’ll also make the process more enjoyable.

I’ve been a guy for a long time now, I can tell you this…. one of the biggest things that will drive a man away is when he sees a woman with a chip on her shoulder about “men,” Because that guy realizes that sooner or later she is going to be crucifying him for the sins of other guys.

Don’t make that mistake!

Hope this helps!

Much Love,
Joe
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7 thoughts on “Men Don’t Want Commitment…Is It True?

  1. I wish you and your wife Natalie all the best in the coming time, thats not easy for her to have a major surgery…..take care, God bless and much strength! Thanks for the encouraging videos!

  2. Jules says:

    I don’t think all men cannot commit.
    Do you mean commit to a relationship or marriage????! I think there are those who may be wary of commitment because of past relationships. Perhaps they have been hurt or used emotionally or financially.
    I love my guy and I hope one day there will be a commitment but for now after 2 years I’m comfortable in this mature, exclusive, long term relationship that eventually will turn into a life long marriage.

  3. Coreen says:

    Prayers to you and your wife and it looks to me that Natalie has herself a great man. Now, that’s dedication!

    The one I had for 5 months emailed me at the end that I was too ill to do anything with him and we were too different.

    Now, that was after I told him what my chronic illness was and explained everything to him about it. He accepted me for 4 months and never complained about a thing but his aunt passed and he had to leave for a week or so to another province. He stopped communicating by phone and always texted which really bothered me and I had let him know that I really wanted to hear his voice but he evaded me and then I got the email. He never expressed his dislike until I found out everything he didn’t accept about me and my physical limitations in his email. I felt blindsided and I’m afraid to trust the next man regarding my chronic illness and being rejected that way. I just wonder how do I look at this in a different perspective and overcome this fear? Thank you. I’m 53 years old and would love to settle down with the right man.

    • Coreen, sorry to hear about your exp[erience.

      This “boy” showed you he isn’t the right guy for you.

      Unfortunately finding love means one has to take risks and leave themselves open to getting hurt/brokenhearted.

      if I was in your shoes I would take some Mirror Time and look at this past relationship to see what you can learn from it.

      The fact that he disappeared so suddenly leads me to believe he wasn’t the “MAN” you thought he was.

      Were there any other clues? Look closely I’ll bet you’ll find some!

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