The Courage To Walk Away

 

The other day I was being interviewed for an upcoming summit that I’ll be participating in. The woman who was interviewing me asked me about my relationship history, and when she found out that I walked away from my engagement just twenty-eight days before walking down the aisle she said, “Wow Joe, I admire you. That took a lot of courage.

Her response caught me off guard and initially I didn’t know what to say. In fact, when you hear the interview when it’s released in a few weeks, you will hear me pause.

You see, I didn’t see walking away as being courageous. I saw it as being smart. I knew that If I didn’t walk away, I was headed for an unhappy marriage and a miserable life.

Up until that point in time I was willing to drink the Kool-Aid.  I was willing to ignore ALL of the red flags which were flying in my face and I was willing to make all of the excuses as to why I should stay.

The truth is I wasn’t courageous, I was a coward. The only reason I stayed in that relationship as long as I did was because I was afraid.

I was afraid I was never going to find someone else to share my life with. I was afraid that I was never going to have the son my heart craved to replace the void in my heart which was created when my dad passed away when I was 15 years old.

I look back now and see how my fear(s) caused me to invest in a relationship I should have never even started.

So, why am I sharing this with you? Because I want you to understand that a relationship created out of fear is like building a house on a bed of sand.

It will look good from a distance and initially it will give you the experience you were hoping for, but sooner or later it’s all gonna come crumbling down.

The only reason I walked away from that engagement was because I was afraid of being trapped in an unhappy marriage. It wasn’t courage that drove me to walk away, it was fear.

I’m just glad that I was smart enough to finally listen to my gut, which had been telling me to walk away for a long time.

So, please take my advice to heart.

If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re giving, giving and giving and getting very little,and you’re gut is telling you to walk away….LISTEN.

You don’t have to settle for crumbs when you can have the whole cake.

It may be a hard decision, but one day you’ll see that it was the best decision, the decision that was necessary to create the space for the Universe to send you the relationship you really want…and deserve.

Do you have a similar experience? Did you invest in a relationship (or marriage) where you unhappy? If so, how long did you stay? What was it that finally made you realize that had to walk away?

What words of advice would you give to the other members of the GPS for Love community who are pursuing relationships where they are not receiving the love, honor and respect they really want?

I’d love it if you would share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

Have a Blessed Day!

Much Love,
Joe
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6 thoughts on “The Courage To Walk Away

  1. Ariana says:

    Yes. It’s such a difficult situation. I was getting back to my ex about a month ago and I just realized that he was putting zero effort. I was getting sad one more time for the same reasons. 10 days ago I decided to cut him off and we don’t talk anymore. Zero contact. It’s sad, but also is good. I know what I want and I’m sure I can get something amazing. So why keep youreself with someone that can see you’re worth? Just walk away. Is gonna be tough for a few days, but then you’re free and ready for the best. Stay strong. Put yourself first. And be happy. Nothing less.

  2. I stayed in a relationship with the wrong guy for almost 13 months. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he failed to call, email, or text me while I was away in NY helping my parents out while they were going through an extremely challenging, difficult time in their lives. At that point, I knew that this was not a man I could count on to stand by me when times got tough. As much as it hurt to walk away, I knew I had to do it for my own good because I couldn’t see myself marrying such a thoughtless person.

    To this day, I’m so thankful I bid him farewell. Seven months after I broke up with him, I met a new guy who is extremely kind, loving, and thoughtful, and we’re now engaged. I never could have met him if I had stayed in my previous relationship with Mr. Wrong!

    Ladies, take it from me: if you’re currently in a relationship where he treats you like crap and you’re feeling miserable, there’s just one thing you have to do: RUN! As Joe said in his blog, think of how miserable your life will be if you continue to stay in that relationship. Then use your misery as an incentive to get out! Although it might hurt at first, at least you’ll be free of the misery and aggravation he’s causing you. Plus, by walking away from Mr. Wrong, you’ll be making yourself available for Mr. Right!

  3. ada says:

    I stayed back and forth with the wrong person for almost 5 years.
    Making excuses, ignoring the RED intermittent flags. Its very hard, mainly when you work together. we both had finished this like 10 times but we get back together because he is a very nice guys and I like it when I am with him, except that I keep getting frustrated and disappointed and feel my needs are not being met. Throught reading Joe, I realized things will only get worse with time, so i listened to my guts and we are just not compatible. We love each other but we are so different and with time it will only create resentment from either one, and since we don’t really communicate good, i decided this time is the last time. We (i iniciated) broke off about 1 month ago . it was very difficult the first 2 weeks. Now i started to feel the freedom of not having to invest anymore. There are sad moments but i try to get busy and I will succeed. if you are on the same situation, take it from me. Don’t wait for things to end up bad . Do it in a nice way, with love and compassion. This will aliviate the pain afterwards.
    YOU WILL THEN MAKE SPACE FOR THE ONE FOR YOU.

    • Ada,

      I appluad your willingness to give up the good to go for the great.

      You are 100% correct. it isn’t easy but I am very confident hat one day you will look back and see how your courage paid off for you!

      Thanks for sharing!

      All the best!

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