There is a pattern that I’m seeing in the GPS for Love community and it’s quite an interesting one. On one side of this “pattern” are women who will get involved with any attractive guy who comes along and pays attention to them. On the other side of this pattern are women who have a laundry list of “rules” that no man can ever live up to.
I’m not a big believer in “rules” but I am a big believer in having clear and concise boundaries.
One of the things that may be making your love life more difficult than it needs to be is your rules.
If so, I invite you to take some Mirror Time so you can examine your rules. If you look at them closely you will see that your rules are not rules, they’re your expectations.
“But Joe, shouldn’t I expect the man in my life to be a certain way and do things a certain way?”
Now, before you send me a scathing e-mail telling me how crazy I am let me explain.
There is only one rule that you should abide by in a relationship…The Golden Rule.
That’s where you need to replace your “rules” with clear and concise boundaries.
When you have a laundry list of “rules” and a guy doesn’t live up to every one of them you’re never going to be happy, because you’re always going to find something he’s doing wrong.
There is no man walking the planet that is going to do everything the way you think he “should” do things all of the time.
That is why I am suggesting that you get rid of your rules (i.e., your expectations) and replace them with clear and concise boundaries. When you have clear and concise boundaries you can then identify what really matters.
If a guy treats you great and is consistently there for you, but he doesn’t bring you flowers, is it really that big of a deal? If he doesn’t hold the car door open for you is that really a reason to kick his a** to the curb?
Having different tastes in taste in music or having astrological signs that don’t match up to some cosmic chart are not reasons to dismiss a man before you have given him the opportunity to show you if he can love you and make you happy.
I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had in the last week alone with members of the GPS for Love community who are struggling because of their “rules.” And it breaks my heart because I know that as long as they have these rules they will be setting themselves up for failure.
But it doesn’t have to be that way and that’s why I’m sharing this with you.
So today, I invite you to take some Mirror Time and look at your “rules.”
Have your rules been working against you? If so, I invite you to replace your rules with clear and concise boundaries. Identify what’s really important and what isn’t. And when a guy crosses one (or more) of your boundaries simply let him go and move on to the next guy.
Keep dating until you find the guy who will love you and give you all of the important things you need, the guy who will love you with everything he has, not in your way but in his!