I recently had a conversation with a member of the GPS for Love community which broke my heart. I must confess, it wasn’t the first time I’ve had one of these conversations, but this time it really affected me.
She told how much she had on common with this guy and how he was “everything” she was looking for, but the problem was, this guy wasn’t making her happy.
And everything we began to focus on, how he was giving her the love she was looking for, she would try to redirect the conversation and come up with all the excuses, stories and rationalizations about why she “loved” him.
The reason it broke my heart is because I know this woman will continue to waste her precious time on a guy who will never give her the love she is looking for.
This woman is intelligent, attractive, sweet, funny and has a huge heart. From a man’s perspective, she is the total package! Any man who has her in his life would be one lucky guy.
But the one thing this woman doesn’t have is courage.
Even though she knows the truth (this guy isn’t giving her the love she is looking for) she isn’t willing to face it. Even though she knows she is the one putting 100% into the relationship and she’s getting crumbs in return, she isn’t brave enough to walk away.
And it breaks my heart because one of two things are going to happen….
- She’s going to invest more time with this guy and one day she is going to wake up realizing she’s wasted her precious time on a guy that was never able to give her the love she really wanted. And then she’ll end it once and for all. **NOTE** She’s tried to walk away a few times before, but each time she always went back.
- She’s going to stay with this guy for the rest of her life, and when she gets to the end of her journey, she’s going to going to look back with regret because she never was able to experience the love she really wanted (i.e. she settled).
One way or the other she’s going to have regrets, because she was never able to experience the love that she says she wanted.
The sad the truth is that this guy is not going to give her the love she’s looking for. Not today, not tomorrow, next week, next year! NEVER!
I know it, you know it and she knows it. She just doesn’t want to accept it. At least not yet!
That’s why it breaks my heart! I’ve seen more times than you can imagine. It breaks my heart is because it doesn’t have to be this way!
I know what is possible when one is willing to give up the good to go for the great. I know how easy a relationships can be when you pick the right person…for the right reasons. Not only because I was able to make it happen for myself, but because I have helped others learn how to make it happen also.
You see, creating a great relationship doesn’t have to be this hard and difficult process filled with tons of painful experiences.
Yes, for many of us, the journey to finding the love we’re looking for is often filled with pain and heartbreak, but that’s often because we make choices and decisions from a place of fear
Just like this woman.
It was clear that she is going to keep investing in this relationship because at the deepest level she is afraid. But instead of facing her fear and dealing with it, it is easier for her to run from it and back into her unhappy, toilet bowl relationship.
Please understand that it is not my intention to make this woman wrong. You see, it is her journey, and at the end of the day she is responsible for the results of her choices and decisions, those she makes and those she doesn’t make.
One day she is going to be on her death bed and she is going to either have a smile on her face or regret in her heart.
I’m sharing this because if there is one person in the GPS for Love community who can learn from this experience and not make the same mistake, then the conversation between this woman and me would have been worth it.
I also want you to share your experience, in a way that might shine light for the other members of the GPS for Love community who may be in a similar situation in their love life.
Have you invested your time with a guy who was not giving you the love (and relationship) you really wanted? Did you make excuses for him and his behavior because you were too afraid to admit the truth?
Were there red flags? If so, did you miss them? Or did you see them but chose to ignore them?
If you were to give advice to the woman I had the conversation with, what would it be?
I’d love it if you’d scroll down and share your comments. It may not reach this woman, but it may reach someone else who will benefit from your insight and experience.
Thanks for being a part of the GPS for Love community!
Have a blessed day!