In the last blog you learned about the top 3 fears which may be stopping you in your love life.
Well, today you are going to learn that these three things that you think are fear are not really what you think they are.
Fear, is a biological response in your brain that is designed to keep you alive and keep you safe.
Millions of years ago our ancestors were living in caves and if they walked outside without surveying the land they would get eaten. So the Universe put this mechanism in their brains which was designed to keep them safe…and alive!
And it’s a wonderful mechanism, which has continues to protect us humans to this day.
So you must understand that anything that does not threaten your life or your physical safety is not fear…it is UNCERTAINTY.
You see, Uncertainty is the emotional state when you can not control the outcome. It is the proverbial gray zone, where things are not black or white.
The problem with uncertainty is it feels exactly the same as the biological fear that is designed to protect you.
Here are some examples of Uncertainty…
—When you stay in a relationship too long
—When you jump into a relationship too quick
—When you have sex with thinking that he’ll want a relationship with you
—When you are afraid of being honest with a guy (b/c you think he’ll leave you)
—when you settle
You see, in all of these examples if you were to be completely honest with yourself you will see that the feeling of being scared that you get when you are uncertain has nothing to do with your viability or physical safety.
But it has everything to do with your emotional desire for things to be the way you want them to be or the way you think they should be. Your strong desire for certainty makes it very difficult for you to deal with the times when you are uncertain.
And do you know what the irony is?
There are no experiences that will put you into more uncertainty than dating and relationships
No mater how much you try to love someone, no matter how much you try to make things go the way you want them to go there are outside forces that you can’t control. and the fact that you can’t control them and get the result you want scares the crap out of you.
Whenever I take on a new mentoring client the first thing I do is show them how to build a healthy relationship with Uncertainty. I teach them how recognize and deal with the source of their scared feelings and I show them how to use their POWER to not only get thru it, but to see what actions they must take to greatly increase their chances of getting the results they want.
Learning how to dance with the uncertainty in life is one of the most powerful and important things you can do in your life.
Because once you master this skill, your the road to love becomes much easier to navigate..and it gets a lot more enjoyable too!
What is your biggest thing you are scared of in your love life? Is it fear or is it uncertainty. Scroll down to the comments section and share your thoughts and questions with us
Hope this helps!
Do your fears often get the best of you? Do you often make choices and decisions in your love life that you regret? Would you like to learn how to reclaim your POWER so that you can handle and deal with the Uncertainty in a healthy and smart way while simultaneously increasing the chances of getting the results you really want in your love life?