And I must admit when I was younger I would have judged this woman. But as they say with age comes wisdom. Now I must admit I’m not that smart and I know I have a lot more to learn in my life. But I think I’m a lot smarter than when I was younger (or at least I hope I am).
One of the things I have learned is that everything a human being does they do for a very specific and predictable reason.
And the same was true for this woman. You see the wall she had put up was there for a very specific reason, to protect her from getting hurt…again.
In talking to this woman it was clear that emotional pain she had experienced had taken a toll on her psyche. She had been hurt a lot, especially by those she loved. There were several experiences of pain that she had not dealt with, with her parents and ending with her ex-husband. And even though she had read a lot of books and done some work on herself the emotional scars of being hurt and betrayed by those she loved had still
So, it is understandable why she put up the walls. The only problem was that her walls were preventing her from having the love that she really wanted.
You know the irony with putting up an emotional wall is that it actually hurts you more than it protects you. And that’s part of the problem because most of the time you’re not even aware how strong your wall is.
An emotional wall makes it impossible for you to open up and be vulnerable enough for love to find its way into your heart. And even though the wall may protect you from being hurt or betrayed it hurts you more because it prevents you from opening up to love.
And do you know what the irony is, most of the time you’re not even aware that these walls exist because they’re created by your subconscious mind. And when it comes to keeping you safe and protecting you your unconscious mind is very crafty & creative.
And this is exactly what happened with this woman. She created such a defense mechanism and it was so automatic that she wasn’t even aware that it was there. And it was exactly why she kept picking guys the “wrong” guys, guys who were emotionally unavailable and never able to give her the love she says she wants.
You see it was no coincidence that she kept picking the wrong guys. Because even though these guys might disappoint her and let her down she never had to open herself up and be vulnerable because unconsciously she believed that if she did she would only experience more pain.
And if you notice one of these patterns in your life I invite you to take down that wall and replace it with a fence, one which will keep out the “BOYS’ and only allow in the “MEN.”
If you have any questions, comments or feedback I invite you share’ em below.
Hope this helps!
P.S. If you know you have a wall and you’re having trouble taking it down I invite you to check out the GPS for Love Mentoring Program, I’d love to help you tear it down. I’m just getting ready to open up 5 more spots (check your e-mail tomorrow) so if you’re interested act now. Click Here for more info.